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  • Ex-Spectator

    This is my penultimate message as NJASA president. As one may have noticed, I have chosen over the course of this year to write not about the major public education issues of the day, but instead about what it is like to be a school leader. I figure I might as well not stop now, and as any school leader can attest, point out that this time of the year is somewhat of a proverbial “witching hour.” This is the time of year, perhaps due to cumulative cognitive fatigue, that students and staff tend to make inexplicable decisions, that conversations regarding non-renewals and terminations take place, that parents become hyper-charged over recommendations and placements of their children, that we sometimes sleep-walk through the day because of the number of evening meetings and special events taking place. One of my mentors, Jim O’Neill, told me once that it is easy to have an opinion, but hard to make a decision. School leaders make decisions. They do not have the luxury of declaring opinions without the accountability of the decisions attached to them. And so it is at this time of year that I most often think of, and listen to, the song below. It is a track off of the final album of a band called Fugazi. Fugazi sprung from the Washington D.C. harcore punk scene of the early and mid-1980s. They eschewed commercialism, believing that art should be accessible to everyone, and played only shows that were all-ages and cost $5. They turned down multi-million dollar offers from major record labels and instead created their own music-making company. They have not made music in more than two decades, but, as I mentioned, I continue to carry it with me. When I became a school leader, I became an ex-spectator.

     

    Ex-Spectator by Fugazi

     

    Looking out for cars and mortality

    Trying to find some sort of geometry

    Avoiding mistakes

    Keep an eye on every step I take

     

    Everything is building and it appears

    That you’re all architects and engineers

    That’s how it looks

    That’s how it looks from here

     

    I’m an ex-spectator

    Can’t you see?

    I’m an ex-spectator

    Never let my vision get in the way of . . .

     

    Here’s some questions that the writer sent:

    Can an observer be a participant?

    Have I seen too much?

    Does it count if it doesn’t touch?

     

    If the view is all I can ascertain

    Pure understanding is out of range

    If I make that call

    Why can’t I make that change?

     

    I’m an ex-spectator

    Can’t you see?

    I’m an ex-spectator

    Never let my vision get in the way of . . .me.