This article is lovingly dedicated to my son, Luciano, who passed away on July 21, 2024. Your spirit continues to live within me.

As leaders, we are trained to demonstrate resilience, overcome adversity, and persevere through challenges. But what happens when tragedy strikes in your personal life? You can’t simply step away—your team depends on you. Kouzes and Posner remind us, “Exemplary leaders know that if they want to gain commitment and achieve the highest standards, they must be models of the behavior they expect of others.” This quote underscores the responsibility we have as leaders to show our teams that, despite personal pain, we must strive to lead and care every day.

The challenge lies in managing our emotions and triggers when they surface during the workday. Strategies like channeling your inner strength, practicing breathing exercises, meditating, or finding other healthy outlets can help you navigate these moments. Yet, another significant hurdle comes after the workday ends, when you’re left alone with your emotions. Educational leaders face uniquely demanding roles, including juggling multiple crises daily. At the end of the day, the weight of these responsibilities can feel overwhelming. For those with family obligations, the challenges only compound—you shift into roles like caregiver, chef, driver, homework helper, and mediator. Amid these demands, what’s left for you?

The saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup” serves as an important reminder: you cannot effectively care for others if you’re drained and depleted. Prioritizing self-care is essential. By embracing personal tragedy and channeling it into building your resilience and self-care practices, you can replenish your energy and avoid falling into unhealthy habits. The leader who is compassionate, decisive, and courageous―even when that same leader and human being is also deeply hurt―is a leader of tremendous strength and character.

In times of collective pain and uncertainty, leaders have the unique ability to foster healing through their actions. By demonstrating genuine compassion, leaders can inspire a ripple effect of empathy throughout the organization. When individuals feel safe to bring their emotions to work, they no longer need to expend energy suppressing or ignoring their pain. This sense of acceptance allows them to process their emotions more freely, enabling them to re-engage with their work more effectively and with greater focus.